The Sister in Law: an Empathy Map

She’s married. She’s closer to 30 than 40, and she has multiple kids.

Thoughts and Feelings

Family is first and foremost the single most important thing in her life. Her world revolves around her children and she is deeply committed to her husband. Status and affluence are important, to some degree, but it is less about materiality and showing off, and more about ease of living and comfort ability. She wears J crew and Ralph Lauren, but isn’t above shopping at Old Navy and Target. She is more willing to spend money on things that improve the home, save time, cut costs, conserve energy and provide comfort. Brands don’t matter as much as quality and value. Structure and organization are extremely valued by her. Since her world revolves around her children, the rigidity of their schedules comes at the expense of her and her husbands’, she would rather leave a dinner party early to put her children to bed, than have them stay up and disrupt their schedule.  She is not concerned with new trends in the internet and social media and technology. She has more pictures of her children on her Facebook page than she does of herself, doesn’t post many statuses and likes revolve around clothing, family, and home improvement, her alma matter and her community. She is worried about affording a new home to fit her growing family, before her family becomes too big. She is worried about what school her kids will go to, what the community will be like. She wishes she could work more. She worries about if her children will get along with the other kids at school, if they will eat their dinner that night, if they’ll be successful. She worries that her husband will have to work late, and that he is stressing himself out too much.

What does she see?

The sister in law lives in a suburban area has two main “home” environments- the house and the car. She spends most of her time in either of these places. The neighborhood becomes an extension of the home environment as well. She may work a few days of the week, and she certainly spends a lot of time in shopping centers and grocery stores in and around her community. She keeps a tight group of friends, the few best friends she still has kept in touch with from college, her sorority or organizations, and her even smaller group of friends she has kept in touch with from her childhood. A few neighbors will become friends, especially those with children around her age. She has a small number of friends, but has a high quality of connectedness with them. She may go to church and have friends from a church group; she may have peers from work. The market offers her products for taking care of her children, for timesaving and for improving her home. The sister in law values a new toy for keeping her children entertained, while having educational value at the same time. She values a trusty durable wine opener, as well as an insert for the dishwasher made to specially fit bottles, and children’s dishes and utensils.

What does he or she say and do?

In public the sister in law is calm and polite. She is a rule follower. She lets the person waiting to turn left go, and gives a wave if she’s waiting to turn left and is given the chance to go. On the day to day basis the sister in laws appearance/clothing choice is relaxed but still put together [always put together when in public]. She may have her pajamas-all-day days but is usually more of a jeans and t shirt kind of girl. She always brushes her hair and teeth and has a no frills approach to makeup. She likes to dress up when going out to dinner or with friends, but she isn’t vain.  She is always respectful and polite to others, but not overly or in a fake way. She isn’t afraid to voice an opinion or disagree. She is always engaging and listening, and is always conscious of others.

What does she hear?

Friends are always giving and asking for advice on starting/ raising a family, tricks and timesavers in the house and of course pinterest projects. Always is sharing funny, cute, not so cute stories about their children. They are sendinig her invites for special deals on dresses, photography sessions and summer camps. Her bosses offer a break from the conversations about kids and family, and giver her validation on her worth outside of child raising and home making. They offer her a sense of self-worth outside of being a mother and give her advice on how to balance home life and work life. Influencers such as parents, or parents in law, offer validation on the raising of her kids and also advice on what to do in situations they may have experienced in life. The news media provides a resource for events in the community that may have a huge impact on her community and her life. She is constantly learning about new trends in raising children.

What are her pain points?

The sister in law fears failure. She fears losing her job; she fears divorce, her children not being successful. She is afraid of what society is becoming, and what it means for her children. She is afraid of her children growing up too quickly. She fears chaos. The sister in law is frustrated with her husband’s work schedule. She wishes there were a better solution to her children receiving a better education than sending them to private school. She is frustrated that she can’t see her out of town parents more and she is frustrated when technology fails. Obstacles include staying healthy and a slowing metabolism. It is hard balancing work life and home life especially with children.

What does she hope to gain?

She needs structure and organization, and the tools to make finding this easier. She wants simplicity in her life. She wants her children to have a better life than she did, really. She wants to go on vacations every summer, and be able to eat at nice restaurants. She wants to join the neighborhood pool, be in a home owner’s society and improve the neighborhood. She wants to travel to Europe. She needs a car that will have enough storage for all of her children’s things, has good gas mileage and is comfortable.  She measures success through happiness. She does require some social validation, college degrees, sorority, church group, book club etc.